Repetition
Unclear information, such as placenames unknown to the international reader
Biblical references, especially references to Jews killing Christ in the episode of Zvonimir's murder
Narrative detail:
unnecessary stages of the action (cutting this out is also recommended to beginning fiction writers)
storytelling from characters' perspective (“when he saw that there was no order” > “as there was no order”), including direct speech (which is used just once in the
CC)
naive descriptions (e. g. of Constantine / Cyril: “And that man was altogether good and of holy life, and a great master in that place, and greatly clever, and a holy man from his childhood.”)
stock periphrases (e. g. God = “he who can do everything”)
stock similes (e. g. “he went like a storm”, “he behaved as an angry lion”)
RDCG offers different interpretations:
CC So Sviolad made a deal with the Christians to pay him taxes
RDCG et in exigendis uectigalibus nullum inter Christianos et gentiles habens discrimen.
CC Ratimir was arrogant and harsh to everybody
RDCG insolescere coepit et regnante adhuc patre quasi dominari uelle.
in CC, it is the good king Radoslav who captures the rebels and enslaves them;
in RDCG, it is his wicked son Seislav.
RDCG transforms moralizing to make it more sophisticated:
CC i voliše tarpiti onu tugu i nevolju prijimati i njih progonjenje, ko jest vrimenje, nego li u vike dušu izgubiti.
and they preferred to suffer the sorrow and undergo adversity and their persecution, which is temporary, than for ever and ever to lose their souls
RDCG sed quibus fides uita charior erat, omnia extrema perpeti malebant quam gentilitatis erroribus implicari.
Translations of Croatian termini technici
Cola and commata to achieve symmetry, especially at the end of sentence (they usually contain developed motifs or additional detail; cf. the examples of
anaphoric pairs)
Developed motifs:
peace (“nihil contigit turbulentum; ocium et pax erat, ab armis quies.” cf. peace under Zvonimir)
faith,
concord,
apostolic authority
Epic detail in descriptions:
battle and persecution,
the Dalmatian Maritime Kingdom,
a chase
waiting,
a hound-dog,
human activity in a Croatian “golden age”,
dramatic public reading of a a letter
end of the second letter by the Pope to Croatians, which calls them to a Crusade;
answer of angry Croatians to this, as reported speech
Narrative prolepsis
Motivation in narrative, especially what motivates the leaders and political decisions
Moralizing afterword to narrative
To the conclusion.